Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Fun with Words

The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.

And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

12. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

13. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Just for laughs -- don't feel the need to comment -- unless you'd like to vote for your favorite word. No pressure.

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