Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Fun with Words


The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.

And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

12. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

13. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.


Just for laughs -- don't feel the need to comment -- unless you'd like to vote for your favorite word. No pressure.
GHT

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Take a Deep Breath -- Prayer


Just now Lord Jesus -- I breathe out my sin and failure
I breathe in your forgiving grace
I breathe out my selfish words and ways
I breathe in the breath of God’s selfless love
I breathe out my cares and concerns
I breathe in the peace of God that passes all understanding.
I breathe out my doubts and fears
I breathe in fresh faith in Jesus Christ in whose strength I can do all things.

I sit quietly before you Jesus -- the author and finisher of my salvation.
I sit in awe and wonder of the Creator of everything -- the Savior of the world -- the Guide and Comforter of his children.
What a wonder you are.

So just now Lord Jesus
I breathe out my own striving and stressing
I breathe in your goodness and mercy
I breathe out my tension and turmoil
I breathe in your calming presence
I breathe out my obsession with everything I have done wrong
I breathe in complete confidence in everything you have done right

I sit quietly before you Jesus -- the Author and Finisher of my salvation.
I sit in awe and wonder of the Creator of everything -- the Savior of the world -- the Guide and Comforter of his children.
What a wonder you are.

Feeling Blue?

Feeling blue? Buy some clothes
Feeling lonely? Pick up the phone
Feeling down? Rent a DVD
Feeling bored? Watch TV
Feeling empty? Eat a Sundae
Feeling worthless? Close a deal
Feeling anxious? Hit the spa
Feeling isolated? Go online
Feeling sad? Tell a joke

Isn't this an amazing age?
We don't have to feel anything.
There's a substitute for everything.
God help us!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Favorite Movies of 2010


Unfortunately I didn't see ten great movies this past year. But I did see five and a few other not so great ones.

These are the ones that stood out to me.

The Kings Speech - incredible acting, compelling historical drama.

Inception - amazing cinematography and it messed with my mind. Dream inside a dream inside a dream etc.

Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader - uplifting, true to C. S. Lewis' storyline and just plain well done.

Book of Eli - dark but solid apocalyptic drama, well acted, poignant.

Ghost Writer - well written murder mystery that made me think.

What about your favorites?
GHT