Christians Grieve Too

Christians grieve, just like all other human beings. But the major and all-important difference is that Christians grieve in hope. They live in hope of the resurrection of the dead, made a surety in their experience by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. They live in hope of His redemption, His return, His glory. They grieve knowing the truth of Paul's words to the Corinthians:


Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).


Available to the Christian is the very comfort of God Himself. The One who gave His own Son on our behalf, who certainly knows, then, the depths of love in that self-sacrificial love of the Cross, promises to comfort us in our pain and sorrow. That is why the Christian grieves, but in hope.

As we briefly discuss the grieving process, we will often find that the believer and unbeliever alike share the same experiences. But when it comes to the point of how one moves through the process and how one views grief, the issue of hope will be seen over and over again.

This has been real in my life this past six months.

GHT

Quotes on Grief Work

Our grief work is not really complete until we have found some meaning in our grief. It is true that our emotions need healing, but so does our belief system or theology.
H. Norman Wright, Recovering from the Losses of Life


To regard grief as somehow unworthy of a Christian who believes in the resurrection is to forget the example of Christ who was so often "moved with compassion," who wept at his loss of Lazarus and prayed the longer in his agony. We cannot short-circuit human processes; we have to give the experience time to come home to us before it can become a motive for hope and a promise of fuller life . …Grief is only unchristian if it is wholly self-centered or if we never emerge from it.
Maria Boulding, Prayer: Our Journey Home


It is impossible for one to live without tears who considers things exactly as they are.
Gregory of Nyssa, De Beatitudine


The principle is simple: when words are most empty, tears are most apt.
Max Lucado, No Wonder They Call Him the Savior


And who's to say which is more incredible—a man who raises the dead … or a God who weeps?
Ken Gire on Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, Incredible Moments with the Savior

Grieving -- The Spiral

One more in a series of old blog posts recently I recovered. Several friends who have been in significant grief commented on how some of my past postings were helpful to them. I hope this is one of them:

The grieving process is not a line, neither is it a circle. Instead, we might best describe it as a spiral. From one viewpoint, a spiral looks like a circle, but from another you can see that progress is being made in one direction or another. That spiral can be headed "up" or "down." In either case, a person traveling along that spiral may visit one "stage" of grief more than once, but, if progress is being made, one will have learned from that stage before, and, if healing is taking place, one will not stay in that stage as "long" as before. Each time we meet those feelings, we are a little better able to handle them, a little better able to go on with our lives.

I should note at this point that not everyone experiences all of the "phases" of grief. Not everyone, for example, struggles with anger. These categories are based upon the general experience of those who have lost a loved one. Every situation, as we have said, is unique, and therefore "exceptions to the rule" are to be expected.

The "spiral of grief" can either lead us upward and, eventually, out of the process, or, if we refuse to face our grief, and engage in self-destructive behavior that denies the reality of what has taken place in our lives, it can lead ever downward into despair, loneliness, and bitterness. I have, sadly, met more than one person who was still in the process many, many years after a loss. They were bitter, unhappy, and unable to function in a normal way, all due to their unwillingness to face the necessity of working through grief. We will talk more about the danger of this kind of situation later on. For now, we might see the two spirals of grief like this:


The Upward Spiral:


Numbness/Shock
Emptiness/Solitude
Anxiety/Guilt/Shame
Anger/Irritability
Sadness/Grief
Acceptance

On the other hand, note the small, but important differences in the opposite:


The Downward Spiral:


Numbness/Shock
Emptiness/Isolation
Fear/Anxiety/Guilt/Shame
Anger/Animosity
Resentment/Bitterness
Sadness/Despair

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted -- Jesus

I'm so glad God is close to the brokenhearted aren't you?
GHT