Fun with Words

The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.

And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

12. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

13. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.


Just for laughs -- don't feel the need to comment -- unless you'd like to vote for your favorite word. No pressure.
GHT

Take a Deep Breath -- Prayer

Just now Lord Jesus -- I breathe out my sin and failure
I breathe in your forgiving grace
I breathe out my selfish words and ways
I breathe in the breath of God’s selfless love
I breathe out my cares and concerns
I breathe in the peace of God that passes all understanding.
I breathe out my doubts and fears
I breathe in fresh faith in Jesus Christ in whose strength I can do all things.

I sit quietly before you Jesus -- the author and finisher of my salvation.
I sit in awe and wonder of the Creator of everything -- the Savior of the world -- the Guide and Comforter of his children.
What a wonder you are.

So just now Lord Jesus
I breathe out my own striving and stressing
I breathe in your goodness and mercy
I breathe out my tension and turmoil
I breathe in your calming presence
I breathe out my obsession with everything I have done wrong
I breathe in complete confidence in everything you have done right

I sit quietly before you Jesus -- the Author and Finisher of my salvation.
I sit in awe and wonder of the Creator of everything -- the Savior of the world -- the Guide and Comforter of his children.
What a wonder you are.

Feeling Blue?

Feeling blue? Buy some clothes
Feeling lonely? Pick up the phone
Feeling down? Rent a DVD
Feeling bored? Watch TV
Feeling empty? Eat a Sundae
Feeling worthless? Close a deal
Feeling anxious? Hit the spa
Feeling isolated? Go online
Feeling sad? Tell a joke

Isn't this an amazing age?
We don't have to feel anything.
There's a substitute for everything.
God help us!

Favorite Movies of 2010

Unfortunately I didn't see ten great movies this past year. But I did see five and a few other not so great ones.

These are the ones that stood out to me.

The Kings Speech - incredible acting, compelling historical drama.

Inception - amazing cinematography and it messed with my mind. Dream inside a dream inside a dream etc.

Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader - uplifting, true to C. S. Lewis' storyline and just plain well done.

Book of Eli - dark but solid apocalyptic drama, well acted, poignant.

Ghost Writer - well written murder mystery that made me think.

What about your favorites?
GHT